abunDANCE of Money

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In this life time, one of the biggest subjects we talk about – besides love – is money. It is connected to the secrecy, the dirty or the admirable. Money is able to make us run around like fools in order to have more or better. Our lives are organized around it, yet without our connection to it, it has no value at all. Money is given value through us. Through the use we give to it. Through the Soul we put into it.

Money requires of us to be seen, to be visible. Otherwise, it cannot flow to us. Because it loves value. And it asks of us to value ourselves. In the last two weeks, I received three fines. Three parking fines, that is. It’s interesting that it happened just now, as I have been learning to trust life more the past few months. I am valuing myself and my work more. So I am parking myself in the middle of my own being more. I am sharing with the world: here I am! I am making myself more visible. Someone once told me: “If you don’t do anything, you can’t do anything wrong.”Life is asking of me to take chances. And thus, to invest money. I will lose money. I will gain money. But in the end, I will follow my Soul’s calling.

Up until recently, money was something that would stress me out. That I did not want to spend too much, as I believed there would not be enough. Or that I required of me to sell my Soul. If I wanted to earn, I would have to do things I didn’t like at all. Throughout the past years, I’ve been able to travel a lot. And I learned to do so on a tight budget. Money would influence my choices, and I would follow only what would seem to be the cheapest options. There have been moments of abundance, of allowing myself to fully follow my dreams, and to spend money – a lot of money. These choices were always connected to what I truly love, namely: dance and movement. Every time I would spend more, I would be able to generate more. And if I would fully allow myself to manifest abundance, money would start flowing to me. But the fear is still here – inside of me and around me. I don’t get stressed about it as much anymore, but the fear of not earning enough is still sneaking undercover..

Money is energy. It is a value we give to our work and our life through investment of time,  presence and actions. It is the emotions and the physicality we put into being. It is an easy and universal means that helps us live, exchange and survive. Nothing more and nothing less. Yet, it can also be misused. It can be used in a way to mislead, to mistreat or to misuse others. Money is connected to power. As I refused living a life within our slave modern society, in which our body and well-being are being ignored in many ways, I have unconsciously kept myself poor. I didn’t want to participate in this game of taxes and expenses and I was afraid of playing big. I thought I needed to stay small in order to be a good girl. Or I felt so bad for the poor in our world, that I would keep myself poor as well. So I wanted to belong to them. Like I wanted to belong to the outcasts when I was a ten year old, even though my ‘cool’ class mates really liked me and even invited me to their ‘cool’ parties. So I realize: how can I do good in this world, when I am in a constant struggle of survival and am not living according to my full potential!? I am losing so much of my energy to be pushing the gas and the break at the same time. Or to be driving 30 km/h even though I am sitting in a race car.

Even though I can reflect on all of this with a slight touch of criticism and even laughter towards myself, I also am able to see all the gems that this life is giving me. I could live at my mom’s house, and got to see so many beautiful places on this planet. I truly learned to appreciate what matters in this life: heart connections, friendships and magical moments of surrendering and receiving. What I needed, always came to me. What I loved, always ended up being met in the end. I learned to let go of material things. To de-tach myself. And I learned to live and travel light. There is a time for everything in life..

Now the time has come to step away from my limiting ideas. To not only think in terms of enoughness. But to embody abundance again. Like the abundant flowers that are blossoming now. The abundant raindrops that fall out of the sky as clouds cover this earth. Or the abundant breaths that are to be taken in one life time. Nature doesn’t think in terms of shortage. In fact, it doesn’t think at all. It just lives according to abundance. I don’t need to have too much. I will stay very weary on not being all sucked into materialism. But it is time for me to fully embrace abundance now. It is time. For abun-dance. Are you with me?